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Tanning Mom Smells Like

burned carrots, toasted pumpkin seeds, and cheetos


old dirty bastard smells like


well, an old dirty bastard but in his case caramel candy corn, pig manure, menthol cigarettes and stale beer


mischa barton smellls like

dandruff, moldy grapefruit and a stale milk dud from a theater floor


spencer pratt smells like

the unicorn killer

1 Notes

rip torn smells like

the depression in the seat of your gaseous grandfather’s corduroy LazyBoy

1 Notes

joaquin phoenix smells like

a scab ripped from the body of a homeless man who for the last month has been eating nothing but baloney & mustard and drinking grape kool aid


darth vadar smells like

a banana split served in a plastic baseball helmet with a methane ball on top


Marion Cotillard smells like

kitten whiskers & burnt matches


ian mckellen smells like

a good Cuban cigar, indigo ink stone ground with a marble pestle, and etched copper


danielle staub smells like

eau de old stripper: the filing of acrylic fingernails, cheese fries, wine in a box & desperation


the cast of the jersey shore smells like

From left to right:

  • Ronnie Magro: Ben Gay, bronzing lotion and that iron smell of dried blood
  • Vinny Guadagnino: his mother
  • Jenni “JWoww” Farley (kneeling): the inner sole of an acrylic high heel worn by a clumsy stripper
  • Sammi Giancola: burnt hair
  • Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (kneeling): mildewed towels and fungus in general
  • Nicole “Snookie” Polizzi: pickles, moon pie and frozen daiquiri
  • Paul “DJ Pauly D” Delvecchio: A gallon of Drakkar Noir, hairspray & humidity


amy sedaris smells like

chocolate cupcake with lemon icing and bunnies … lots of fluffy bunnies

1 Notes

denis leary smells like

rich Corinthian leather, cigarette smoke & Irish whiskey

2 Notes

Daniel Sunjata smells like

frosted animal crackers with cinnamon sprinkles served warm and lots and lots of musk


lindsey lohan smells like

the inside of a microwave that recently burned popcorn