Sniffer Doodle

Tanning Mom Smells Like

burned carrots, toasted pumpkin seeds, and cheetos

old dirty bastard smells like

ol

well, an old dirty bastard but in his case caramel candy corn, pig manure, menthol cigarettes and stale beer

mischa barton smellls like

dandruff, moldy grapefruit and a stale milk dud from a theater floor

spencer pratt smells like

the unicorn killer

rip torn smells like

the depression in the seat of your gaseous grandfather’s corduroy LazyBoy

joaquin phoenix smells like

a scab ripped from the body of a homeless man who for the last month has been eating nothing but baloney & mustard and drinking grape kool aid

darth vadar smells like

a banana split served in a plastic baseball helmet with a methane ball on top

Marion Cotillard smells like

kitten whiskers & burnt matches

ian mckellen smells like

a good Cuban cigar, indigo ink stone ground with a marble pestle, and etched copper

danielle staub smells like

eau de old stripper: the filing of acrylic fingernails, cheese fries, wine in a box & desperation

the cast of the jersey shore smells like

From left to right:

• Ronnie Magro: Ben Gay, bronzing lotion and that iron smell of dried blood
• Vinny Guadagnino: his mother
• Jenni “JWoww” Farley (kneeling): the inner sole of an acrylic high heel worn by a clumsy stripper
• Sammi Giancola: burnt hair
• Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (kneeling): mildewed towels and fungus in general
• Nicole “Snookie” Polizzi: pickles, moon pie and frozen daiquiri
• Paul “DJ Pauly D” Delvecchio: A gallon of Drakkar Noir, hairspray & humidity

amy sedaris smells like

chocolate cupcake with lemon icing and bunnies … lots of fluffy bunnies

denis leary smells like

rich Corinthian leather, cigarette smoke & Irish whiskey

Daniel Sunjata smells like

frosted animal crackers with cinnamon sprinkles served warm and lots and lots of musk

lindsey lohan smells like

the inside of a microwave that recently burned popcorn